A-Team Episode 2×01

“Diamonds ‘n’ Dust”

• Location: South Africa
• Tank: One Good Jeep from Two Bad Ones (not exactly a tank, but who am I to question the montage?)
• Bonus Tank: Armored Mine Cart (this one’s legit)
• Disguises: Carnie, Doctor
• Scam: Dynamite (I know, right? All this time I just assumed they always had explosives stored with the guns or something)
• Flight: Yes
• Fixation: Teddy Bear
• Flips: 0 (no, that one doesn’t count, there was no one in it)
• Fee: 10% of a Diamond Mine (presumably up from quoted $210,000)
• Quote: “You pay peanuts, lady, you wind up hiring monkeys.” – Hannibal, on their going rate
• Bonus Quote: “It’s the singer, not the song.” – Face, on how to scam like a pro
• Double-Bonus Quote: “Don’t you smile at me like that. That’s not even a real smile! Just a bunch of teeth playin’ with my mind!” – Face, about to do whatever Hannibal asks
• Who is that?? Nope–a few I thought I recognized, but seems not.

On to Season Two! So let’s just get this out of the way–Amy, that hair… really? I mean what’s next, B.A. in leopard–oh.

Right, well anyway, the episode opens in Africa. You can tell from all the Africa stuff. It’s all very African. After bad guys blow up a truck (and I mean this thing really blew up–I was surprised at just how up it blew, but there’s actually a reason we’ll learn later), there’s a rather chilling jump cut between a sniper and a carnival shooting game on the other side of the globe. Our client-to-be (who’s actually a pretty good shot herself) makes contact with a familiar-looking carnie.

After the cold open, this ep goes into standard Season 2, Episode 1 mode. You know, a new show is off for the summer, and now it’s back–so the team is re-introduced by name for those who may be new to the show, and all the quirky character traits are on display to re-establish them. There’s been a bit of polish applied, too–particularly, the newer, more distinctive Ruger Mini-14 assault rifle (see episode 1×09‘s Special Feature). I also note this is the first time we’ve actually seen Amy introduced as a full member of the team. Not only that, but she’s finally put that computer of hers to use ’cause she’s got all the intel on this one. Glad to see her as more than a foil (shame about the hair, though. Just… really???)

The job is simple: haul several boxes of dynamite to the top of a mountain in order to–you know, it doesn’t matter why. Think Frogger, only the frog is filled with explosives and there are bad guys shooting at you. You don’t ask why; you just pop a quarter into that bad boy because who wouldn’t want to play that game??

There’s a shoot-out, the highlight of which is definitely Murdock’s teddy bear’s head being blown off. Finding that funny probably makes me a monster, but you see, the thing is, it was hilarious. This ep is actually filled with great moments: Face bring a revolver to a fist-fight for an easy win; Murdock using karate just long enough for us and him to remember he doesn’t know karate. The one-liners were spot on, too–as noted by the triple quote highlight up in our stats block.

They eventually make it out after montaging up a Jeep out of their busted one and the bad guys’, but get cornered in the mine itself. With no way out, they’ll only last as long as their ammo. Fortunately, this is one of those well-appointed-machine-shop kind of mines. And the bad guys give them till morning to come out. Before you can say “two montages in a single episode?!?” the team gets to work on the second tank of our episode! Some bullets and explosions later, the good guys win, and season 2 is off to an excellent start!

P.S. Someone please invent Exploding Frogger. I would totally play that.