A-Team Episode 2×13
“The Maltese Cow”
- Location: Los Angeles, CA
- Tank: No
- Disguises: Ninja Outfits (for the whole team!), Police Officer
- Scam: Admittance to bad guy boat via asthma
- Flight: No
- Fixation: Film Noir
- Flips: 0
- Fee: $4200 (minus expenses…)
- Quote: “The Lung Chin boys were spilled over the linoleum like a six pack of broken promises” – Murdock
- Who is that?? Professor Toru Tanaka, Ling. Hint: Francis is busy taking his bath.
- Bonus Who is that?? James Hong, Wan Chu. Hint: this guy is big trouble.
Hey, another reprise from our big-three 80’s bad guy trifecta–that’s two in a row! Now yes, ninjas are honorary members of the trifecta, but I’m of course talking about drug lord they’re working for.
There’s an odd twist on the Face does Accounting routine–I wasn’t sure what to expect when Hannibal asked Face to pay the bad guys what we own them. First off, he didn’t whip out his notepad and instead went to the cash register. The grenade was a great gag and I love that they took the time to wrap it in a paper bag and put it in the cash register.
Next follows a classic example of 80’s fighting-style comparison. Who would win in a fight: ninjas, or military special ops? Murdock’s fake kung-fu was pretty funny, but I still prefer B.A.’s contrast to it: his classic one-punch-and-they’re-out while completely ignoring the fancy moves.
Next comes a brilliant, brazen escape (oh yeah: they got captured–but that’s not really important) by walking straight out of a police station after Hannibal casually bluffs his way into getting a spare uniform delivered to him. Why weren’t they locked somewhere more secure (even without knowing they were the A-Team, they had just been busted in a massive ninja-boat-gun-fight thing)? Ah well, these questions aren’t important after you watch the team make a getaway that even Murdock calls crazy.
The final battle starts as another shoot out in the streets of LA (which I have to remind myself is perfectly normal–hence no one ever seems to notice) and then moves to a warehouse. Full of Chinese fireworks (ohhhhh goody!!) And this is where things disappoint. Yes, plenty of fireworks go off, bad guys are dazzled, stuff blows up… but I was really hoping for the whole building to go off. I mean a warehouse full of fireworks is begging to blow up all at once. Alas, the 80’s budget I suppose.
The ninjas are defeated, and the mysterious drug lord is revealed to be carrying a micro-film list of lots of other bad guys. Our heroes deliver him to the cops as an early Christmas present.