A-Team Episode 2×17

“Pure-Dee Poison”

• Location: Arcadia County, Unknown (Louisiana?)
• Tank: Tractor/Loader with improvised guns
• Disguises: Fisherman
• Scam: Nitrous Oxide
• Flight: No
• Fixation: Dentophobia
• Flips: 0
• Fee: Unknown, but not likely free
• Quote: “Time to start the temperance meeting” – Hannibal, about to ratify the 18th Amendment all up in our bad guys’ faces.
• Bonus Quote: “Reverend, sometimes our work is a little like yours–it’s a matter of faith.” – Hannibal, earning himself an “Amen!”
• Who is that?? Steve Sandor, Burt. Hint: 50 Quatloos says you won’t figure this one out.

I had a fun puzzle to solve with this episode–I’m forced to derive the location for this ep as it’s never clearly stated. We know we’re in the South (Arcadia is, as the sign says, the “Flower of the South”, but also style and accents). They clearly drove there, but the team has been known to drive at least farther than Texas so there’s no reason to limit them geographically simply because they drove. We also get frequent use of the word “parish” to describe more than just a church, so I’m going with Louisiana. Further, this appears to be a dry county (hence the bootleg/moonshine operation), which, again, I believe Louisiana has a history of, even after the repeal of prohibition. If I’m wrong, I’m sure my reader will let me know.

So, since our bad guys are moonshiners, and we learn this early in the episode, that means we have a good, long wait before the pay-off, which, of course, should be one heck of an exploding still. Let’s see if the show delivers…

The plan opens with our heroes taking ownership of a speakeasy (the establishment seems 51 years late to the party, but sure, why not). They wait for the bad guys to show and the standard picked fight ensues. Meanwhile, Tawnia outside blows up a booze truck real good (look at that, only 3 episodes on the team and she’s already blowin’ stuff up like a champ!).

The team tracks the bad guys back to their camp, evades some rather amateur traps (I particularly enjoyed the Elmer Fudd-quality trip line-tied-to-a-shotgun trap), and gets ready to take’em down. Only one problem: it’s far too early in the episode for a final battle. Sure enough, the bad guys show up with the ladies captured. This being the 1980’s, women who can fend for themselves and not be used as simple pawns to get the men to throw down their weapons haven’t been invented yet.

The men throw down their weapons and the bad guys lock them in a well-appointed machine shop. One with sound proof walls, too, as no one seemed to find all the noise of tank buildin’ to be suspicious. Also, I’m just now realizing that bad guys never seem to hear the montage music. You’d think that would tip them off.

The team emerges with a tank, Hannibal rescues the guns (I loved that), and the bad guys flee toward the safety of an alcohol-laden, wood-fired still as our boys blow up all kinds of stuff with improvised rockets around them. The show has a little fun with us as the bad guys surrender, but just when we think they may not blow up the still, the last one gives us a reason–Murdock throws a lit flare in, we’re rewarded with a satisfying explosion, and B.A. gets the girl (awwww!).

Special Feature: How to Shake Hands

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It’s been a while since we’ve fulfilled our 80’s TV educational mandate, and this ep has a valuable lesson in handshakes for us. Now pay close attention, kids: Left-handed, glove on means Hannibal doesn’t like you and you’re probably a bad guy (and also you’re probably about to see how your stuff reacts to bullets). Right-handed, glove removed means Hannibal likes you. You’re probably not a bad guy.

Stay school, and be in cool. Dare to be drug off.