A-Team Episode 4×07

A-Team Episode 4×07

“Hey, mom, what if the A-Team joined up with Hulk Hogan?!!??”
“Oh Billy, that’s only make believe, there’s no way so much awesome could fit on a single television screen at once.”

“Body Slam”

  • Location: Los Angeles, California
  • Tank: No
  • Disguises: Peanut Vendor, FBI Agent
  • Scam: FBI records (direct from the source…)
  • Flight: No
  • Fixation: Wrestling Fan, though we don’t get much of it
  • Flips: pile-drivers, body slams, something off the ropes, but alas, no flips
  • Fee: It involves protecting kids, so of course this one’s on the house
  • Quote: “I been trainin’, sayin’ my prayers, and eatin’ my vitamins” – Hulk Hogan. Does it get any more American than that?
  • Bonus Quote: “We can’t just go in there and kick down a guy’s door, we need a plan!” – B.A., describing pretty much all of Hannibal’s plans.
  • Who is that?? Never having followed wrestling (I know a “pile-driver” is a wrestling move), even I recognized Hulk Hogan as Himself.

This ep opens with Face seeming quite unentertained by a WWF match–until he finds a pretty girl to watch instead. So Hulk’s next match is going to provide a big donation to charity–a childrens charity, it turns out. B.A., being good pals with Hulk since they met back in ‘nam (because where else would they have met??), will be helping in any way he can–which means so will the rest of the team.

It’s a good thing, too, because those dastardly Real Estate Developers are up to no good again! Meanwhile, the soon-to-be client holds her gun too close to the bad guys (sigh… you don’t need to hold a gun at knife range–that’s why it’s a gun) and gets herself roughed up before Hulk Hogan and Mr. T give’em the what for. Anyway, turns out it’s actually organized crime. I’m so confused. One thing’s for sure, the bad guy actually said he’s gonna “take care of” Hulk Hogan. I wonder if he realizes it’s the 80’s and he has no chance?

Guys with guns or room full of wrestling bros led by Hulk Hogan and Mr. T? Do I even need to ask this question?

So these have gotta be some of the dumbest bad guys we’ve seen in a while. Not only do they think they can take out Hulk Hogan in the 80’s, but they even try to do it on his own turf–in the gym. Bad guys are hurled through the air with much aplomb while Hulk’s generic wrestling dude bros help out, all to strains of not-quite Eye of the Tiger.

Face is sent on a quick mission to the FBI to scam up some records and things take a dark turn–it’s possible our client’s father was in on an armored car heist decades ago and paid for it with his life (but not before stashing the gold somewhere safe). It’s becoming clear that the treasure may very well be on the property–which would explain the mafia-turned-real-estate-developers. Incidentally, if you missed all of that because of how loud Hulk’s shirt was, I hold you blameless.

Anyway, spandex shorts not withstanding, we welcome back one of my favorite guests: Mafia Hannibal! Hannibal’s mobster has always been one of my favorites. As it turns out, he’s actually playing his opposite this time, an FBI agent, but he’s got the fedora and that’s what’s important. Our heroes dig the dirt out of the dirtbags and they start digging for the treasure.

It’s at this point that we get two pretty good twists: one, the treasure isn’t there (ok, not really a shock), and two, the agent Face lifted an FBI ID from earlier realized it instantly and took action. Decker shows up (this ep really is a veritable A-Team potpourri) and captures the trio. Not that it matters–General Murdock busts them right out again, which I feel like we’ve seen recently but can’t remember. Everyone gets away except for the bad guys, the end!

Sadly, this is not Mafia Hannibal, it’s FBI agent Hannibal. I’m gonna ignore that, though, in favor of “It’s Mafia Hannibal and Hulkamaniac B.A., both on screen at the same time!!!”

Wow, so does it get any more 80’s than Hulk Hogan teaming up with the A-Team? No, no it does not! Unless somehow we got Optimus Prime in there helping them out… So yeah, you have to take the special guest star episodes on their own merrits and as they go, this one was fine. Would have been nice to have found out where the gold went, though.

Special Feature: Disclaimers of the A-Team [blog]

So you (and I use it in the singular sense) may have noticed the blog went away for a while. Naturally, in the wake of COVID-19, many of our plans aren’t going how we expected. That said, I can’t blame it on COVID at all, I just plain got distracted by re-watching Bablon 5 and playing Civ 5. Stay safe everyone (again, singular sense) and make the best of it: by watching The A-Team or reading a blog about watching The A-Team!

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