A-Team Episode 4×15
“Members Only”
- Location: Beverly Bay Country Club (Beverly Hills, CA presumably)
- Tank: Fuel truck
- Disguises: No
- Scam: Pretty much the entire ep is Face trying to scam his way into an exclusive country club
- Flight: No
- Fixation: Being a Hoity-toity Country Club Member
- Flips: 2. (and one was a golf cart!)
- Fee: Free
- Quote: “We’re the A-Team” – Hannibal, giving us the call-out!
- Who is that?? Kevin McCarthy, Bob McKeever. Hint: he single-handedly saved public television by donating a 1955 double-die penny to the cause.
- Bonus Who is that?? Shecky Greene as himself. He’s a well-known comedian, though I confess not well-known to me.
- Bonus Bonus Who is that?? Beechcraft N3807S, itself. You could almost consider this a cameo as its real fame is as the star of the opening credits of MacGyver.
I’d like to offer a tip o’ the hat to The Facemobile, whom we first met performing a duty similar to what it’s doing here: helping Face scam his way into an exclusive country club. It continues to survive despite the odds. Hannibal and Face drive on in, get snubbed by the valet, and we see the back of a familiar head, already schmoozing amongst the members–Murdock has managed to beat Face to the punch, attending as a guest of his psychiatrist. There’s some excellent continuity playing off the fact that both Murdock and his psychiatrist know eachother to be frauds, and now are just milking it, having come to an understanding. The entire opening act is a riot, with “H.M.” seemingly already knowing everyone–to Face’s chagrine.
So the caddy and daughter of one of the members are hooking up when they find a golf bag full of cash in the bushes. Caddy makes a run for it, bad guys spot him and pursue, and we’re treated to what I believe is the first and only high-speed golf cart chase I’ve ever seen on TV (full disclosure: I did see something similar on Malcolm in the Middle but that was less a chase and more a rampage). This being the A-Team, things end exactly as they should and the Flip Counter increments by one point. Unfortunately, it’s our heroes that flip this time (but don’t worry–say it with me, now–they all emerge unharmed).
Meanwhile Bob the Badguy (you can tell he’s bad because he’s gambling recklessly and also was the bad guy in UHF. Wants his bag of money (counterfeit money, it turns out) back. Hannibal decides to confront Bob via a high-stakes game of golf. It’s still funny to see who has and hasn’t heard of the A-Team. Hannibal Smith uses his real name with Badguy Bob, but B.B. doesn’t bat an eye. No “oh wow, like the leader of the A-Team?” or, “you mean Hannibal Smith, the notorious fugitive?” and not even, “hey, like the cigar guy on that awesome TV show?”
First we have to get rid of Bob’s current golf partner, which brings us to the second great twist of the ep (if you’re following along, golf cart chase is the first), as that partner turns out to be General Fullbright. Face has a run-in with him and the General chucks his own guy out of the car to take the driver’s seat to give chase (once again, I’m thankful for the reminder of how much a bad guy Fullbright is–sometimes I forget to not like him). With Fullbright out of the way, B.A. rigs up a radio-controlled golf ball, the silliness of which is remeniscent of the ol’ balloon chairs. I also have to point out how dangerous such an object is. Imagine if it were to be weaponized and fall into the hands of the GLA!
Anyway, the golf game ends on double-or-nothing for the last hole, and the stakes are the bag of funny money. B.A.’s remote shorts out, but naturally Hannibal sinks it anyway because this is 80’s TV. The badguy plan is to swap their fake money into a plane transporting real money, blow up the plane, and keep the cash. Other stuff happens and Face ends up in Fullbright’s Officer of the Year celebration. He makes a narow escape and it’s Tank Time! Hannibal specificaly asks for “something outrageous” but as tanks go, a fuel truck with Murdock and a gun instead of fuel ain’t bad, but isn’t remotely what I’d call outrageous. Beechcraft N3807S blows up and Bob the Badguy goes to jail.
The closing act is also pretty funny, though I’m left wondering why a room full of Army brass cheered for Hannibal when he took the stage. I can see Bob the Badguy not knowing him by name, but surely the notorious head of the A-Team, fugitive of the U.S. Army is known by them? Questions aside, I did get to say “Bob the Badguy” several times, and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed that.
Also the freeze frame was fantastic. “Needless to say, we don’t call him ‘Bull’ for nothing!”
Special Feature: Face does Accounting. Errr, Counting.
Face is good with numbers (I mean Fenton Crackshell good), but this ep we get a chance to put him to the test and find out just how good. He estimated the golf club bag could hold about $2 Million, “with some room for a couple golf clubs.” Let’s check his math:
A $100 bill measures 5.14″ x 2.61″. A stack of $10,000 (100 bills) would be .43″ (aside: I’ve always wondered how much money was in one of those stacks of bills you see on TV). That means each stack is about 5.76 cubic inches.
The golf club bag is estimated to be 16″ diameter by 3 ft high:
36 * pi * 8^2 = 7238 cubic inches.
The bag, in theory, is capable of holding 1257 packs, which is just over $12.5 Million. So while the bag would not have an ideal packing efficiency (especially with a couple golf clubs in there), $2 Million seems a pretty low packing efficiency. If I were going to be smuggling money in that golf bag, I’d be confident I could pack at least $8 Million. On the other hand, I was raised an engineer and coming within a power of 10 is usually good enough for me, so I’m going to let it slide.